SEALED BY HUSSEIN OBAMA, NOW UNREDACTED: The Top Secret History of The Jews' EXODUS from Egypt
Sealed by Sheik Obama, imam of the Muslim Brotherhood, the administration of Donald Trump just unsealed the dossier!
Also published in ISRAPUNDIT
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THIS IS NOT THE BABYLON BEE!
EXCERPT FROM THE DOSSIER:
Once upon a time famine wrecked the land of Abraham then known as Zion. The various tribes of Judah left Hebron, Jericho, and Jerusalem for greener pastures.
(You might have heard of these erroneously-called towns the “West Bank.” The west “bank” however is only one riverbank of the Jordan river, a strip of pebbles, the West of it - never a territory occupied by anyone. Or more accurately, past the west bank of the river is all of Israel.)
The Hebraic tribes were welcomed into the land where the Pharaoh’s closest advisor happened to be a Son of Zion, a confirmed Zionist by predilection. Joseph was loved not only for his humongous brains, but for his gargantuan organ as well, especially when it was compared with that of the typical Jewhater’s and those appended to throatslitter Muslim Brotherhood fanboys. Which may be the primary reason they like to slit throats.
Joseph’s descendants were hated for having been endowed with both blessings.
Clearly, these refugees from the famine in Zion, aka Zionists and neocons, succeeded in infiltrating every organization in ancient Egyptian society, including Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood. If you don’t believe this story, you haven’t followed what the Zionists did in Lebanon, Gaza and Iran recently.
The Zionists who came out of Zion (Israel’s biblical name), were enslaved by a succeeding pharaoh who found the peaceful Jews easy targets. The pharaoh blamed the Jews for the dryness of the desert, rebellious camels, stubborn donkeys, and for his own failures governing the country. Today the Zionists are blamed for planetary collisions and Obama’s pedophilia.
Pharaoh’s troops descended on the Israelite community that were dancing at a music festival. They arrived by hang gliders, Toyota flatbeds, and motorcycles, holding the Quran up as evidence of their just mission. The Pharaoh’s “soldiers” enslaved the People of Zion - the Zionists. The plan was to build large mounds of cubical boulders meant to reach the heavens using free Zionist labor. In reality, as much of what Egypt has produced over four millenia, these edifices to narcissism still have absolutely no use or purpose, except to impress gawking tourists. These monuments to 4000 years of technological, military and moral failure can be seen all the way from Aswan to Cairo, to the north, beyond regions where the Nile empties into the Med.
(Believe it or not, the Nile flows from south to north in this region, confounding all the antivaxxers who live in places where the rivers flow - unwillingly - north to south. I tell you, the unwilling riverflow is a conspiracy yet to be told! Here I speak of people who can’t accept reality, which is this: the sun revolves around the earth and not the other way ‘round. I mean, did you think otherwise?)
After a century of enslavement the Jews found their savior in a baby floating in the Nile whom the Pharaoh’s daughter rescued. He was wrapped up in a blanket and found on the deck of an abandoned superyacht owned by a rich Jew out of Vegas. Rumor has it, the man dumped his wife in Sodom and found a new girlfriend working as a belly dancer in a Red Sea resort near Gomorrah. The biblical story has it that the man’s private part, after his eyes spotted the gorgeous belly dancer, turned to a pillar of salt.
Pharaoh’s daughter raised the child as if he were her own, giving him the best education a prince deserves. The boy grew up smart. Rumor has it, he became a great warrior after having been secretly trained by the same MOSSAD that buried the Epstein Files under the Nordstream Pipeleines, to hide it from Tucker Carlson, CONdace Owens, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Matt Gates. Reportedly the four conspiracists and antivaxxers got unhinged by the files’ non-existence (almost as much as they got unhinged by the Jews’ existence) and the existence of reality.
Moses’ mistake was that he killed one of Pharaoh’s overseers, a would-be HAMAS chieftain who was beating a Zionist to death just for sport. The Pharaoh’s astronomers later reported that after Moses kicked the Egyptian in the groin, two round bloodied objects were spotted in orbit.
To save his own life Moses had to escape to a safe haven. Meanwhile:
The Pharaoh petitioned the International Court of Justice in the Hague to get Moses arrested on charges of genocide of innocent Egyptian murderers who never meant harm to any Jew just because they enjoyed slitting their throats. As expected, the ICJ ruled in favor of the petitioner and wrote out a warrant for the arrest of all Jews who have not yet had their throats slit or their babies strangled barehanded by keffiyeh-wearing martyrs. In the warrant they stamped the statement better understood in the modern context:
Zionist Lives Matter Only to Zionists.
Ever since that fateful day, all rulings by the Hague courts have been published in hieroglyphs that no one can decipher, in characters that have no meaning except to ETs who descend by UFO every other Sunday in Tucker Carlson’s and MTG’s backyards.
Sensing impending doom, Moses escaped to Saudi Arabia where a fair-minded Muslim family gave him refuge, a Quran, a plate of humus with falafel on the side with tahini dip - sprinkled with za’atar of course - and their daughter. Moses puttered around the local madrasah feeding his goats while his hosts were having sex with them later in the evening - by appointment only. (That Islam or the Quran didn’t exist during this period - Mohammed was not yet born - is as good a reason as any for modern Muslims to insist that both Abraham and Moses were Muslims.)
Reportedly the yet-unborn Mohammed informed Allah that he, Allah, was also Muslim. Allah’s Minister of Information has not yet responded to inquiries by al Jazeera about this matter.
Moses returned to Egypt a year or two later, I don’t have the exact date, and you know the rest of the story. He demanded of Pharaoh to “LET MY PEOPLE GO!”
It is the same demand made by the NRA to progressive administrations that can’t afford a copy of the U.S. constitution, not even after having spent $100 trillion from the public purse for it and for a railroad to nowhere in California.
Moses lost his patience with this reprobate king who will shortly experience martyrdom, the exquisiteness of drowning alive along with his horses and chariots and entire army.
Moses slammed down his staff and proceeded to engulf Egypt with a series of ten plagues causing great harm to the pita factories, as well as to the fishermen on the Nile who could no longer sell fish that turned blood red in color and were covered with locusts. It got worse: the ZAF (Zionist Air Force) bombed the pharaoh’s palace and pulverized his first born. (At least that is the Egyptian version of the story published in al Jazeera, neither of which ever makes up wild stories about Jews.)
More problematic even, the plagues interrupted the sex lives of the common Egyptian with his goats - a situation that had drastic consequences in an epic series of divorce filings.
The Jews wanted out, period. In addition to their oppression, especially after the ten plagues, Egypt smelled exactly as it does today: like sh-t. Sh-t with swarms of flies. Polluted, chariots spewing diesel fumes while blocking the roads, Cairo also has thousands of apartment buildings that have neither windows nor toilets. The stink wafts in - and out. Along with the sh-t.
Normally used to the comforts and gardens of Beverly Hills, East Hampton and Palm Beach, perfume shops and Michelin restaurants, Louis Vuitton boutiques, and following the commandment that instructs “cleanliness is next to godliness,” the Jews refused to put up with the stink any longer.
From the big city one can walk to the pyramids by foot or take a camel or donkey taxi. These massive monuments to narcissism, hubris and stupidity - and uselessness - can be seen from almost any hotel in Cairo. They were purportedly built with forced labor by the Jews (because no other people could have done it).
Pharaoh told the Jewish laborers who were breaking their backs lifting 2000 ton stones, sweating buckets of blood in the heat while being whipped by Pharaoh’s overseers: “Can’t you take a joke?”
As it was then, today the Giza flat is literally covered with sh-t. Camel sh-t all over the place. In the persistent oven-like heat of Cairo the camel sh-t turns to dust, and American tourists, even those Fundamentalist Christians who visited with the Muslim Jesus during Pharaoh’s time, breathed in the sh-t-as-dust. There was no end in sight to the sh-t. It was, and is, everywhere. In your food, up your nostrils, in your ears and belly buttons, on your pillows…
From its very beginnings the Egyptian civilization was always full of it. If I were Anthony, I would have Cleopatraed out of that sh-thole with my life and found another Negress to shag. There are many fish in the Nile, no Cleo?
In the streets of Cairo there’s dog sh-t too, mixed in with the human feces poopied there by people who can’t reach a toilet after having encountered Montezuma’s Curse from the food handling by Cairo’s vendors, whose union contract provided for them a single roll of toilet paper for a lifetime.
While visitors critiqued them unfairly, Egypt’s food sellers do wash their hands and feet at least once a year. Whether or not they need to.
Then there’s the sh-t flung out of glassless windowed apartments by tenants whose toilets backed up during the last ice age and the bowls keep burping sh-t up. Well, if one can call ten inch holes in the floor that empties into the flat below “toilets.”
One of Donald Trump’s ancestors insultingly called Egypt a “shithole” country. Imagine the billionaire’s impoliteness disrespecting sh-t!
Before this chapter of Exodus itself turns into sh-t, we will resume the story in Chapter II with the reconquest of Zion by the Zionists who aimed to occupy, oppress - and “colonize” - their own people still living in Zion. These folk never left Zion in the first place - and were the only people who lived there 3500 years ago.
These reprobate Zionists refused to go to Egypt earlier with the first group that got enslaved, just for the privilege of becoming slaves to far superior people and a far superior culture. A superior culture that had achieved nothing of import in the succeeding 3500 years - but to build massive monuments covered in camel, donkey and human sh-t, under which Egypt’s royalty and their court were buried with much fanfare.
Dust to dust, sh-t to sh-t.
A culture that, were it not for the income from tourism, would collapse on its own uselessness. (Incidentally, Mein Kampf, translated from German to Arabic, was a best seller on Cairo’s streets.)
As if its author’s and the Pharaoh’s sh-t didn’t smell.
In-between the reconquest, occupation, oppression and colonization of Zion and of their own people by the Zionists, and their forced consumption of stale Gefilte Fish and matzo balls made with the blood of innocent Christian children, we will witness the parting of the Reed Sea in which the Zionists drowned Pharaoh’s army, more or less the same way they defeated Gamal Abdel Nasser Hussein’s (and Barack Hussein Obama’s Dreams of His Father’s) 3rd Army in Sinai 34 centuries later.
ISRAEL’S ENEMIES NEVER LEARN - NOT A THING!
After the “dreams of their fathers” hating freedom, human dignity, capitalism, Christianity and America (and the Jews, trying to butcher them), what did Israel’s enemies get?
The most expensive city in the world - Tel Aviv - and Israel’s Silicon Valley! The Startup Nation of innovation, technology, medical miracles, wealth, success, and beauty, benefiting all of mankind.
As unexplainable as it may seem, and because these people chose God, and because they - and not their detractors - are God’s Chosen People:
ISRAELI STOCK EXCHANGE REACHES +226% RECORD HIGHS DURING THE WAR!
ISRAELI REAL ESTATE PRICES REACH RECORD HIGHS DURING THE WAR!
FOREIGN BUYERS NOT PUT OFF BY SURGING ISRAELI REAL ESTATE PRICES
ISRAELI HIGH TECH, CYBER, AI STOCKS UP 78% DURING WAR!
ISRAEL DEFEATS & HUMILIATES ALL ITS ENEMIES BECAUSE ALLAH WILLED IT!
These days the Jews are mourning the destruction of the Temple, the mount of which has been occupied, oppressed, and colonized by a blue mosque of a foreign religion. To which I add:
The Navi Yeshayahu tells us:
“Tzion b’mishpat tipadeh v’shaveha b’tzedakah.”
Zion will be redeemed through justice, and her returnees through tzedakah.
That’s not just a statement. It’s a mission.
Credit: Screengrab CFR - Pictured, Israel’s Missionaries, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Druze and all sorts of kafirs.
Writing from Budapest, Hungary
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© Andrew G. Benjamin is in finance, real estate and equities, a former advisor to New York City mayor‘s office (Subcommittee on Taxation, Finance and the Budget). Benjamin wrote extensively about politics, transnational and domestic, intelligence and military affairs, security and strategy, economic issues, Mideast, terrorism, technology and high end audio. Copyrighted material cannot be disseminated commercially without permission from its author or publisher; and are used herein for information and educational purposes only under Sec. 107 of the Fair Use Notice.
