Confessions of a Denier: The Last Word on Global Warming

When it gets warmer it's global warming. When it freezes over it's global warming. When the temps don't change it's global warming. I trust by now you understand the science has been settled.

LIC: CREATIVE COMMONS

Albert Einstein reportedly said, concerning the book dissidents had written to his Theory of Relativity, One Hundred Authors Against Einstein, “Why 100? If I were wrong, then one would have been enough.”

Ever since I was a young man seven weeks ago, sledding down a hill in high snow across from my family’s apartment where the then-Soviet-era KGB’s headquarters on the Buda side of Budapest had its “public relations offices,” I became intensely aware of “public relations” and weather.

I found to my chagrin that snow melted.

This kid was astonished! (The KGB, or AVO in Hungarian, was the tyrannical state’s secret service whose main purpose was to improve public morale by first ridiculing, coercing, and then torturing and murdering people who had the bad manners to see a scam, a fake health care plan, or low oil prices via Joe Biden, when it slapped them across the face.)

As for the snow:

Clearly, the whole melting mess was a Capitalist Plot!

I never imagined at that age that weather had anything to do with it. Had I known, I would have marched with the anticapitalists to protest the weather.

Built right into the hill on top of which today stands the Municipal Building governing the city of Buda (photos at the bottom by the author), the KGB had installed underneath, torture chambers with ventilation stacks sticking up from the ground. Torture chambers? Re-education classes? What difference does it make?

Sometimes my friends and I heard screaming, resembling the yelps of a cat being castrated.

We figured it was a party.

Make no mistake, the KGB were not dumb. They realized that both the tortured and the torturers had to breathe. Hence the ventilation shafts, built for the deniers who denied that snow melted, er, “climate changed.” There HAD to be a reason after all for removing the nails or sex organs of these poor folk who did not play along or had an opinion different from the rioters at Berkeley UC. Heck, they could be killed later, after they had confessed to having been deniers and Trump voters.

I don’t want anyone reading this to connect any dots to the IRS or Susan Rice sitting at Joe Biden’s desk. Above all, never confess you’re a Republican. Bad things can… happen to you.

The latest thinking for readers not yet up on the facts of life which are as obvious to me as the two foot snow in Miami I saw last summer, I strongly believe that man’s activities may have a significant effect on warming. How significant? Approximately the same as a bucket of water in the Atlantic.

But then I am not a denier! I’ve experienced weather since I was born.

And in a previous life as Napoleon Bonaparte. Previous to that, as a Woolly Mammoth.

I also believe—and you may find it a strange thing—that since the industrial revolution the planet’s population had just about quadrupled. Quadrupling the population of the planet with the consequent quadrupling of mammal and avian agriculture cannot possibly add to the warming—I mean, no way, right?

The problem is my SUV.

40,000 Miles of Underwater Volcanoes and persistent geothermal activity under the oceans on a planet that is 25,000 miles in circumference and 5000 miles in diameter cannot possibly add to the increasing ocean surface temperatures and the ice caps melting. It’s gotta’ be my SUV that’s pouring acidity into the oceans killing the coral reefs.

Maybe the friction from Al Gore’s fat thighs rubbing together?

The deniers, you may now identify them, are the good fellows who deny these facts. Or the fact of a dramatic increase in sunspots. But I digress…I swear, I had nothing to do with the heat from the sun!

CREDIT: Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported

LIC: Creative Commons

THE UN’S IPCC NEVER NOTICED THAT ONE CHART OVERLAPED THE OTHER

I also believe that in addition to 7.5 billion humans, there are billions of cattle, chickens and sexually-frustrated goats in Afghanistan that breathe and expel both CO2 and methane into the atmosphere. These become food for the humans who deny the population explosion. I also believe that CO2 has risen dramatically with NO CONSEQUENT RISE IN WARMING for the last two decades; that CO2 is NOT a pollutant, but rather, the compound that plants breathe. And rather good for agriculture to feed our ungrateful, flatulent chickens.

As others have come to similar conclusions about the population bomb, one might argue that the ONLY possible scientifically proven method to reduce the effects of man on warming, is to wipe the entire unproductive third world and their goats, chickens, and sheep, top to bottom, off the face of the earth, with the clean nuclear power we already possess.

In any event, you see, I will not deny that nuclear power can be put to good use, and besides, it is carbon neutral! But I’m not an extremist, and might suggest contraception instead, or the voluntary but physically-excruciating process of closing of one’s thighs.

Barbara Kay in THE NATIONAL POST:

There is certainly more than one scientist and more than one investigative journalist pushing back against climate-change mantras. And they simply can’t be waved away as outliers or weirdos. Although God knows, a biased media tries to.

Take, for example, Robert M. Carter, Emeritus Fellow and Science Policy Advisor at the Institute of Public Affairs; chief science advisor for the International Climate Science Coalition; and former Professor and Head of the School of Earth Sciences at James Cook University. In September, 2013, after the release of the latest IPCC Assessment Report by Working Group 1, Carter was interviewed by the BBC, and said: “Climate has always changed and it always will—there is nothing unusual about the modern magnitudes or rates of change of temperature, of ice volume, of sea level or of extreme weather events.”

The Adherents could not have that! A former climate-change official at the Foreign Office was given space in The Guardian to argue that the decision to give Carter air time was a “betrayal of the editorial professionalism on which the BBC’s reputation has been built over generations.” Geneticist Steve Jones said inviting Carter to speak was to give “false balance,” like inviting “a homeopath to speak alongside a brain surgeon.” Greg Barker, a highly placed politician, said, “I am not trying to ban all dissenting voices, but we are doing the public a disservice by treating them as equal, which is not the case.”

Do you see a similarity in all the denunciations? Nobody is actually addressing what Carter said. Is what he said true or is it not? If it is true, then this is a problem for the alarmists, a very serious problem. If it is false, why did none of these accusers say so? This scenario is repeated weekly, daily, hourly with many other scientists whose credentials to speak on the issue are impeccable.

And yet the warming trend stopped 16 years ago with no explanation from the believers (which is why “global warming,” once a dogma carved in stone, morphed into “climate change”).

CREDITS: CLIMATE DEPOT

From 8000 years ago, after the ICE AGE, sea levels rose one meter.

CREDIT: WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

Catastrophic, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Barbara Kay:

“The polar ice caps are not melting on the whole (though some parts soften while other parts thicken), extreme weather is not a novelty, sea levels have been rising steadily for 700 years, and the rate has not increased in recent years. We have not run out of fresh water, as was predicted, nor has the Great Barrier Reef died, nor have we seen increasing drought, nor have (the severity or the frequency of) hurricanes increased.”

We’ve had more snow and ice and precipitation for longer periods in recent winters on the North American continent, including the 2021-22 season, significantly cooler springs and cooler summers, by as much as an average of three to seven degrees, than at any time in the twenty first century. A few exceptions for a few days are noted. Areas of Europe have been cooler in general, with much fewer heat waves. Last summer in Eastern Europe where I had spent months, one needed to wear a jacket as temps, normally in the nineties, hardly reached into the high seventies or low eighties end of August, and often dropped lower.

However, there is, an explanation:

When it gets warmer it’s global warming. When it freezes over it’s global warming. When the temps don’t change it’s global warming. I trust by now you understand that the science has been settled, and 97% of the people having their nails pulled out one by one will agree to anything at the point of a gun in a torture chamber under the hills of Buda. You will also believe Iran and North Korea will be disarmed of their nuclear facilities and centrifuges by next Thursday the latest.

By the way, can I sell you a nice health care plan? Or a bridge?

And why not?

My last words on this matter of climate and CHANGE: Barack Obama is not a Muslim, no matter what anyone tells you, Inshallah; Susan Rice never lied in her life, CNN and MSNBC are REAL NEWS, and Donald Trump, in reality, is still at that Moscow hotel room smoking crack and frolicking on a rubber sheet with Vladimir Putin and three prostitutes - all named Olga.

Barbara Kay gets the last word. She posits about the Global Warming Alarmists:

”....maybe they’ve been struck by the fact that in the defamation suit by Michael “hockey stick” Mann against journalist Mark Steyn, who publicly called Mann out as a “fraud,” Steyn is backed in print by a hundred credible scientists, and can boast a host of freedom-of-speech organizations queuing up to witness on his behalf, while not a single scientist has offered to appear in an amicus capacity for Mann. (Even the most passionate defender of the mainstream view that climate change is a serious threat to the planet has to find that pretty odd, and an obvious sign that the now thoroughly debunked hockey stick myth is a huge embarrassment to the climate-change-as-apocalypse cause.)”

Municipal Building of Buda (Budapest) rebuilt after the revolution of 1956. The literal translation of the sign: “2nd District Self-Governing Body of Buda and Mayor’s Office.” The communists also governed your bodies and selves. Thought crimes such as doubting the existence of Barack Obama as the Savior were punishable by Russian prostitutes using your head as a toilet seat.

Air re-breathers seen below for still breathing Global Warming Deniers. Non-breathers are removed in the following photo through that steel door.

It is also an alternate entrance to the underground “public relations” offices where deniers were re-educated in The KKKurrent Truth. See the ventilation shafts again above.

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Andrew G. Benjamin is in finance, real estate and equities, a former advisor to New York City mayor ‘s office (Subcommittee on Taxation, Finance and the Budget). Benjamin wrote extensively about politics, transnational and domestic, intelligence and military affairs, security and strategy, economic issues, Mideast, terrorism, technology and high end audio.

Reprint rights are available from the author.

© Andrew Benjamin

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